Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart
by Tea With Bree
Summary: A BrOrson songfic. Song by Alicia Keys. Warning: may contain scary amounts of sentimentalness, overemotionalness and sappy-sweetness! You have been warned! ;D


What if the plane crash never happened, and Orson granted Bree the divorce?

I think this is my favourite fanfic that I've written 'cause I think the ending is mad cute and it makes me smile every time, but as far as writing goes, I don't like it so much; the wording sounds way too corny and cliché for my liking sometimes and I'm always saying how clichés make me cringe. I guess because of the nature of the story, I kind of needed to though. Hehe, I have a bad habit of criticizing all my stories at the beginning and insulting all the writing and that's not what author's notes are for so I'll try to stop this time. ;D

Song: Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart by Alicia Keys... listen to it, it's a pretty-sounding song! (:

* * *

_Even if you were a million miles away_

_I could still feel you in my bed_

_Near me, touch me, feel me_

Every time Bree closed her eyes she saw Orson's face. His dark brown hair, adorable smile, those warm pools of melting chocolate that used to look at her like she was all he could ever see. His eyes were always glimmering, glistening for her, but ever since she had broken his heart, shattered it into pieces, that little sparkle had gone away. Her eyes fluttered open and she hugged her pillow tighter, burying her face into it. There was no point in trying to fall asleep; even though she was exhausted she knew she was going to spend another sleepless night tossing and turning, hovering over the edge of unconsciousness but never succumbing to it. Her red hair fell away from her face in soft waves as she rolled over gently and stroked the empty side of the bed where her husband used to lie, and she closed her eyes even though she knew she wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.

_And even at the bottom of the sea_

_I could still hear you inside my head_

_Telling me, touch me, feel me_

Bree shivered and pulled the covers tighter around herself but she didn't feel any warmer. Her heart felt hollow and empty. She had lost her soul mate, her other half, and for once she had to admit to herself that it had been no one's fault but hers. At that moment the one thing Bree wanted more than anything was for Orson to be there in bed with her, cuddling with her to help her fall asleep, gently stroking the inside of her palm with his thumb, caressing her hair- Bree squeezed her eyes shut, shocked at herself for thinking these thoughts about a man she had tried so hard to convince herself she no longer loved. A man she had wanted to divorce and never look back. She wanted him so badly, but she knew she had to stop aching for him because he was no longer hers. She told herself that deserved all the pain in the world for causing it to her sweet husband.

_Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?_

_Well, you could try sleeping in my bed_

_Lonely, own me, nobody loved me like you_

It had taken her a divorce to realize that she had never stopped loving him, not one bit. He would always have her heart, but it had taken her months of being apart from him to realize that and now it was too late. As her affair with Karl continued she had drifted further and further away from Orson and broken him completely, taking his hope away slice by slice until he was nothing more than a shadow of the complacent, bright-eyed man she had married. He loved her more than anything and treated her like the queen she was to him but that wasn't enough for her and she continued to tell him she didn't love him any more, that she wanted nothing more than to be free of him. The last thing Orson had ever wanted was to lose her, he couldn't imagine the possibility of life without her but he loved her enough to let her go. He had lost the one thing that truly mattered to him and she had tried to tell herself over and over that he was at fault but deep down, Bree knew that she had become the cold, heartless villain. She had turned against him and hurt him so deeply and told herself he deserved it but Orson, sweet, patient, unbelievably devoted Orson, had never stopped loving her.

After Orson had moved out and the divorce had been finalized, Bree's affair with Karl had still been going strong. However, Karl had started to sense that her heart wasn't in it, that she still had lingering love for Orson, and it was true. As much as she insisted that she had stopped loving him, that she was falling in love with Karl, her heart still belonged to Orson and it always would. Bree and Karl had become emotionally detached from one another and they both knew that it was over long before they broke up. Karl ran off with a slutty blonde waitress who was half his age and Bree honestly didn't care.

Only after they had divorced did she realize how much Orson meant to her. No one could ever love her the way he did; he understood her in a way that no one else ever had or could, loved those quirks of hers that everyone else saw as flaws, was the only person that she could open up to, be herself around and take off the and mask of perfection and icy coolness that she wore around everyone else... he was her soul mate. Leaving him had been the worst decision she had ever made and she regretted it every day of her life. They had been divorced for a couple of months now. She loved Orson even more than she could imagine and missed him so much that it was physically hurting her.

_You wore the crown_

_You made my body feel heaven bound_

_Why don't you hold me, need me?_

_I thought you'd never leave me_

As she remembered all the pain that she had caused her husband over the past few months, the pain that he had tried to hide from her and keep a buoyant smile on his face, her jade green eyes began to well up with tears. Bree gave a shaky breath and, trying to calm herself, she rose from her bed and walked over to the window. She couldn't stay in that king size bed alone any longer; she really felt Orson's absence beside her. She never thought it was possible to be heartbroken to the point of physical pain, but her heart felt like it was cracking into pieces and only one person could glue it back together. Bree's lower lip started to quiver and to distract herself from the tears that were surely about to start spilling down her cheeks, she looked out the window to marvel in the enchanting Fairview night sky.

A teenage couple were on a romantic late night walk, holding hands and strolling down Wisteria Lane past rows and rows of large yet cozy-looking houses painted in a palette of pastels that contrasted beautifully against the starry night sky, looking like a scene in a storybook. The boy's gaze traveled down to where their fingers were intertwined and the sight made him smile. He stopped suddenly and when the girl he was with turned to look at him, he whispered something in her ear, and whatever he said made her cheeks turn pink and she beamed at him, smiling hugely. Still unable to fight the huge smile on her face, she blinked her long lashes, smiling demurely at her boyfriend and wrapped her arms around him. _Orson and I used to be like that_... They were adorable, and trying desperately to keep the tears back, Bree quickly averted her gaze and looked around frantically for something else to look at, anything but them. She looked down at her notoriously glorious lawn, trying to concentrate on her pink apple blossoms and prize-winning orchids. When she looked closer she saw that two brown bunnies were nestled in the flowers, twitching their little noses and nuzzling each other. When Bree saw that, she couldn't take it anymore and burst into tears. She knew that she belonged with Orson and she would never be able to fall asleep until she was finally in his arms. Without stopping to think for even a second, she ran out of her bedroom and out the front door.

_Looking in the sky, I can see your face_

_And then I know right where I belong_

_Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love with you_

_Right 'til the end_

She kept on running barefoot in her lacy white nightgown and got into her car, slamming the car door loudly and causing the teenage couple to break apart and stare at her. She drove off, way past the speed limit, and when she reached Orson's street she got out of the car, slammed the door behind her and just kept on running. Once she was on his front porch she shakily rang the doorbell and held her breath, anticipating what would happen next. Suddenly a thought occured to her; what if he told her to go away, that he didn't love her any more, that he never wanted to see her again? She felt so silly for assuming that he would still love her the same way and want to take her back after everything she had put him through. He still hadn't answered the doorbell so she desperately rang it over and over and over. _Great, now he'll think I'm a stalker_, she thought. Then the thought occurred to her that he wouldn't be able to hear the doorbell because he was probably asleep, Orson was a deep sleeper... or worse, spending the night at another woman's house. _I divorced him, he has every right to_, she reminded herself. The thought made a lump form in her throat and she tried to choke back the tears. _Her_ Orson!

A harsh gust of wind blew and Bree shivered and wrapped her pale white arms around herself, having just noticed how cold she was in her sleeveless nightgown. What was she supposed to do now? _Well, I could call him_… she pulled out her cell phone and dialed his home number. _Please pick up, please pick up… God, please, let him pick up, _she begged silently. A tear rolled down her cheek and onto her cell phone screen, making her background (which was a picture of them at Gabrielle's wedding; a faux-pregnant Bree was smiling and holding Orson's hand while he kissed her cheek) look all blurry.

"You've reached Orson Hodge," Orson's answering machine said. "Please leave a message after the beep…" Bree slowly sank to the ground, weak in the knees at the sound of his voice. She called him again just to hear his voice, and then a third time, but hung up before she could leave a message every time. She plopped herself down on his porch, buried her head in her lap and began sobbing more uncontrollably and unabashedly than she had ever cried in her life... not that that was saying much. She was in such a state that, probably for the first time in her life, Bree didn't care if any of the neighbors saw her like this.

There was no way that she could possibly give up and go home now. Not without telling him how much she still loved him, how much she always would. Even if he sent her home, it would be better than spending every minute of her time obsessing over what could have happened with him while still being in denial that she cared. She looked around desperately and her gaze focused on the tall tree that was next to Orson's bedroom window. She was in no state of mind to think straight.

She ran to the tree, the bottom of her long white nightgown dragging in the mud, and started to climb. The rough branches scraped her bare feet and the bottom of her delicate silk nightgown snagged on one of the branches and tore. Her red hair blew all around her face in the harsh, freezing wind. The hot tears blurred her vision, and she lost her footing for a second and slipped. Her heart stopped for a second but she frantically clutched at one of the branches above and regained her balance. She was shaking and sobbing violently but she still kept climbing higher and higher. Finally, she reached the top of the tree, right in front of his bedroom window.

Before she could think of what to do next, the window opened. Orson must have heard her climbing the tree and gotten out of bed, wondering what all the noise was coming from. She looked into his shocked brown eyes and felt breathless and lightheaded; he was looking at her with the same adorable expression of confusion and rapture on his face that he'd had when he first talked to her at the psychiatric hospital and instantly began to fall for her. There were so many things she wanted to tell him; how much she loved him, how sorry she was, but all that came out when she opened her mouth was his name. "Orson…" she whispered tearfully, sending vibrations through his body. She breathed his name again, holding onto the branches of the tree tightly with both hands because she felt so dizzy with emotion that she feared she might fall.

He reached out to touch her, desperately hoping she was there for real and it wasn't all just a dream. Gently and tenderly, he caressed her soft porcelain cheek and as soon as he touched her, she closed her eyes and the warm tears began to fall all over again. As he looked at her in her torn white nightgown caked with mud, barefoot with her red hair blowing in a tangled mess around her face and tears streaming down her pale cheeks, taking all of her in, he honestly thought she was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

"Orson, I still love you," she sobbed. Never in her life had she cried this many tears. "I always have, and I never stopped, and I… oh, Orson, I never will… I'm so sorry… so sorry…!"

"Shhhhhh, it's okay," he said softly, gently placing a finger to her trembling lips, trying to soothe her. She was shaking so much that she looked like she was about to fall off of the tree. He gently lifted her up off of the thick branch, and as she lay in his arms she wrapped her arms around his neck and gazed up at his adorable face with a soft, vulnerable smile spreading across her lips. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. "And I just want you to know, I love you too Bree, I love you so much and no matter what happens, I always will… I never stopped either."

Orson's breathing was uneven with anticipation, and Bree could feel his racing heartbeat from where she lay against his chest. He looked so blissfully happy, but the one thing missing from his face was even a trace of surprise, which made Bree wonder if he had been expecting this all along. Maybe he had known this whole time that they were meant to be together and would find their way back to one another someday.

He was standing at the edge of his bedroom, carrying her in his arms over the outside half of the open window. If she had been looking she would have seen a breathtaking view of the night sky and Orson's exquisite flowers to rival her own below her, but the only thing she could see was Orson. She sat up a little more in his arms and reached for him, bringing her face closer to his. He stroked her hair adoringly and leaned in to calm her trembling lips by touching them to his own.

She kissed him back, softly and slowly and tenderly, her passion for him building up inside of her, and she kissed him more and more fervently, wrapping her delicate arms around him as much as she could in the position she was in. "Mm," she moaned softly, stroking the back of his neck with her fingertips and kissing him so passionately that it was like all their love for each other had been poured in that one long, magical kiss. Their lips parted and when she opened her eyes to gaze at him, she could have died happy at that moment. She was in heaven.

"I love you," Bree whispered again, her voice filled with raw emotion and so faint that Orson almost didn't hear her, and she buried her face in his neck, clinging to him. A rush of emotion coursed through him, and, touched, he wrapped his arms around her as tightly as he could without dropping her, trying hard to stop the tears from falling from his own eyes. He held her like that for the longest time without saying a word, and being encircled in his arms like that wasn't a trap, a constriction like Bree had thought he himself had been this past year. It was home.

Both of their hearts swelling with happiness, Orson smiled lovingly down at her and carried her away from the window, gently setting her down on her feet on the rich wooden floor. Bree looked around Orson's bedroom and noticed that while his house was big and chosen with beautiful taste, it was unfurnished and empty as though he had somehow known that he wouldn't be living there for long. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly and resting her head against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close. They stood like that for a few moments because neither of them wanted to let go, and finally Bree pulled away to caress his face with her fingertips. Her eyes darted over to Orson's bed and back again, and he knew what she wanted. She wanted very badly to show him how much love and passion she had for him, but she was visibly exhausted and it was four o'clock. "I'm not going anywhere," Orson assured her, smiling endearingly at her. There was plenty of time for that in the morning. He wanted her to get some sleep.

As though reading his thoughts, she yawned, finally feeling peaceful and contented for the first time in a very long while. Happy. "You're tired, aren't you?" he asked her. She nodded, taking his hand and leading him toward the bed. Finally realizing how exhausted she was, she sank down onto the pillows, and Orson pulled the warm, thick covers over her, tucking her in before snuggling up beside her. She nestled into him, resting her head where his arm met his chest, and smiled softly as she felt his hand caressing her hair and then his arms wrapping around her. He kissed the top of her head and she felt her eyelids beginning to droop. "Goodnight darling," he whispered tenderly into her ear, but her eyes were already closed. In Orson's bed, safe in his arms, Bree had finally fallen asleep.


End file.
